January 2008

A Word to the Worry Warts                                              Janaury 2008

Well, we're coming to the end of January. Just a few weeks ago, people all across the country were toasting the New Year with cheers and enthusiasm. They were looking at 2008 as an opportunity to start working toward their goals. Resolutions were written down (or pulled out of the drawer from last year). It was going to be a fresh start.

For many people, that enthusiasm has worn off as they've gotten back into the routines they put on hold during the holidays. Instead of being optimistic about the future (and living in the present), they've returned to the routine of worrying about the future.

You know these people. They've made worry an art form. They worry about everything. They worry about things that happened in the past, even though they can't do anything to change it. They worry about things they think might happen in the future, even though most of it never becomes a reality. And if they ever find a time when they don't have anything to worry about, they worry because they aren't worrying. These people wear me out.

We all know we need to stop worrying, but quite frankly, it's easier said than done. After all, we all face real issues in our lives that are sometimes hard to handle. We may be concerned about job security or overwhelming bills. We may be concerned about important decisions about raising children or serious health issues. Telling someone to stop worrying about a serious issue in their life is like telling a starving man to stop being hungry. The words simply won't change the situation.

In reality, the only way we can stop worrying about anything is to convince ourselves that worrying won't make it better. In the meantime, consider a few alternatives to wallowing around in worry, including:

:

Take suitable action

Worry is not a solution to the challenges in your life. Solutions come when you take suitable action. For example, if you're in debt, plan your specific strategy to get out of debt. If you don't like your job, find another one. Figure out if you can do something about what's bothering you. If you can, then do it. If you can't, then don't. Either way, worrying about it will do you no good at all. If you believe it's important to you, then start working on the solution rather than focusing on the possible negative outcome.

Put it in perspective

Life's challenges are different for us all. Some challenges are very serious and require a significant amount of time and energy to confront. But if you take an honest look at most things that bring you grief, they truly are small when you put them in perspective. Wondering how you're going to pay off a credit card is nothing compared to wondering where you're going to sleep if you're homeless. Complaining that you have a 3-hour layover in an airport is nothing compared to finding out you have a serious, life-threatening disease. Regardless of your challenges, spend some time putting them all in perspective.

Let it motivate you

Worry can have a devastating affect on you mentally and physically. But if you can adjust the way you see it, it can work to your advantage. For instance, it can serve as a strong motivator. It has the ability to energize you while sparking some much-needed creativity. If you're worried you may lose your job, allow that concern to motivate you to find new ways to contribute. If the concern can drive you to action, then you've used it to make you a better person.

One of the most common questions my wife gets is, "Is your husband really as positive as he is on stage, or is it all just an act?" I always enjoy hearing her answer to that question, and it usually goes something like this, "He's human, so he has his moments, but what you see is what you get!"

She's right about a lot of things, and she's right about that. I am most certainly human, and I definitely have my moments. But I hope she would agree that I do a good job keeping them to a minimum. If I had to identify how I do that, I believe it's partly because I don't worry about every little thing in my life.

I wish I could say that I never worry, but I do. I worry that something bad will happen to a member of my family. I worry that something might happen to me that would keep me from taking care of my wife. But I try to not worry about things I can't control, and that helps me minimize the number of "moments" I have. I've learned to turn that stuff over to a power much more capable of handling it than me. When I do that, it gives me the energy to move on to other issues for which I may have some control. Here's to the next lesson. God bless!

Enthusiastically, 

Clint Swindall - President & CEO

*Book Review

10 Simple Solutions to Worry: How to Calm Your Mind, Relax Your Body & Reclaim Your Life, by Kevin Gyoerkoe and Pamela Wiegartz

Here's what I've been reading lately ...

For the worry warts of the world (and for those who can always use a little help overcoming the habit of worrying), I would like to share with you a resource that just may provide some answers for you. It is titled 10 Simple Solutions to Worry: How to Calm Your Mind, Relax Your Body & Reclaim Your Life.

This little book is informative and well-written. Most importantly, it contains a handful of interesting, easy- to-learn strategies to deal with everyday worries. Perhaps the best part of the book is that it provides exercises to get you doing something to start controlling the worry and stress in your life.

To purchase it online, click on the cover to go to Amazon.com.

* Raise a Glass

A reason to celebrate

This month I'd like to raise a glass to the many readers of Everyday Leadership who responded to the news of my wife's car accident at the end of last year. While I wrote about the experience to share the lessons I learned throughout the ordeal, I never expected overwhelming responses of well wishes from people who have never met her. You helped put a smile on her face, and for that, I raise a glass! (And for those who may be wondering, Heather is healing well and on the road to recovery. My "honey- do" list is back in place, and she's cracking the whip to see that it gets done. It's all good!)

*Quotes

Inspirational thoughts

"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do."
- Olin Miller

"Worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere."
- Unknown

"There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem."
- Harold Stephens

*Question to Ponder

Some time to think

We all worry from time to time. For some, it's a way of life. For others, it's reserved for the big issues in life. As a leader, you set the example for many people in your personal and professional life. If the parent is constantly worried, then the child will probably follow. If the boss is constantly worried, then the employee will probably follow. You are setting the tone whether you realize it or not.

So that is my question for you to ponder until next time. At the end of each day, I want you to ask yourself this one simple question ... what kind of lesson am I setting for those around me as it relates to worry (and the things I worry about)?